all united against domestic violence

After writing a couple of posts about women as potential abusers in the domestic violence sphere, here is a great example of women uniting to help abused men. After a few movements done by men to help women victims of rape, sexual assaults or gender violence, such as Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, women are now returning the favour. In Blackpool, UK, women such as Francesca Brett, created the Fylde Coast Womens Aid, a charity that raises fund to help men victims of domestic abuse get back on their feet.

It is all about working all together hand-in-hand to stop domestic violence once and for all for all victims.

article on mintpress news: “Woman as Agressor: the unspoken truth of domestic violence” by Edward rhymes

This article was enlightening. The author kept a great balance between agreeing that more women are victims of domestic violence, but if we want to truly end the debate of domestic abuse, we have to admit that they can also at times be the perpetrators.

Edward Rhymes started his article by reminding the number of women victims not only of domestic violence but also rape and other forms of abuse. He then expressed that, that being said, there also are men victims of women’s abuse.

A very important point he made was when he quoted Jan Brown, executive director and founder of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men, who expressed that “domestic violence is not about size, gender, or strength. It’s about abuse, control, and power, and getting out of dangerous situations and getting help, whether you are a woman being abused, or a man.” Domestic violence os not only about leaving scars on one’s body, but also affecting them mentally and emotionally.

He also pointed out that few men did speack up about their issues, and that sadly not many were heard. He said that “some researchers estimate that about 20 percent of men who call law enforcement to report an abusive spouse or partner, are, in turn, arrested for domestic abuse”.

He also writes late in the article: “this writer agrees: We need to talk to our boys and men about having respect for their partners in their relationships. Yet, that’s only part of the problem. Our girls and young ladies need to be taught what appropriate behavior is and what non-violent conflict resolution looks like,” which resumes the article beautifully.

Men not only as abusers, but also as victims.

a view on women offenders

I came across a very useful website: http://www.avoiceformen.com/

A great article I found was ‘The Cycle of the Female Abuser’ by Kimberley Taylor.

She explains that most women offenders feel remorseless after being physically or emotionally abusive to their partner.

Perhaps it is because society is less condemning and more dismissive of a woman who is abusive, resulting in less societal awareness and consequently more room for personal denial. It is also possible that the male is even less aware that they are being abused and may even take more responsibility due to the same lack of societal awareness. In short, the dynamic in the relationship may allow for this denial.

In a recent recent study noted (Gelles 2006), about fifty percent of men and women thought it was okay for a woman to hit a man. With these global attitudes, it is no wonder some women feel justified in slapping their partners. Some even said they knew they could not do too much damage because of their size; they therefore minimised their actions and denied it was abuse at all.

Is society giving women excuses for being violent?

On the same website was a video of Kelly Brook saying that she had punched in the face two of her ex-partners, after which she explained that they wouldn’t have felt much since they were much bigger than her.

Does this make it ‘okay’ to be violent to a man? Shouldn’t any form of violence be treated equally?

Kelly Brook’s interview.

Men Victims of Domestic Violence in NSW

Reports from the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research show that from July 2012 to June 2013, there have been 2568 reported cases of domestic assaults were men are the victims. Why is it not more spoken of and written about?

This social media campaign is designed the increase awareness about those cases and give men who are physically and emotionally abused a platform to express themselves. The preconcieved idea that men cannot be their partner’s victims have to change.

 

Speack Up! If you are a victim or know someone who is suffering in silence, here is your chance to share.