domestic violence on men

signs of domestic abuse

Today’s post is a little different: Signs of Domestic Abuse.

I found this great table on the helpline.org website.

What are the signs of domestic violence? I remember a couple of years ago one of my co-workers was telling me that her son was being abused by his wife. One example she gave was when he was getting something from his car trunk and his partner purposely closed it on him, which hit him hard on the head. Is this too small a sign? I was quite shocked by the story, and although my co-worker knew her son’s condition, all she did was hate his wife. What if her son was a woman? Would she convince her to leave her abusive partner?

No violence should be tolerated, and no sign is too small. Domestic abuse IS NOT ONLY about physical violence but also about moral maltreatment. Many people diminished by their partner and unhappy stay because they don’t know they’re being abused. Look out for them, and help them.

Poll on Domestic violence on men

Please take a few seconds of your day to answer this poll. One question, one answer. I will write an article based on the answers, so the more participants, the more accurate the post!

https://epoll.me/vote/ACRm7pqOnnM/she-did-it/what-is-your-view-of-domestic-violence-done-on-men

Thank you for your time & participation!

Where to turn to?

So in many of my posts I write that men should have more platforms to express themselves, seek help and get out of their struggles. Now I wouldn’t and probably shouldn’t expect victims of domestic abuse to want to write a little comment here on how they feel. So let me combine a few centres, hotlines or help groups where victims can actually turn to and get the help they need.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline in Austin, Texas, just wrote an article about men as victims, and linked to these addresses:

Other outlets men victims can use include:

The Mayo Clinic based in Rochester, Minnesota, has a great domestic violence against men section.

The detailed and targeted 1 in 6 foundation in California has a support line and many information on the matter.

In California, the Help4Guys foundation encourages donations to help men victims of abuse.

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women works with the USA and Canada and can be reached on 1-888-743-5754.

In Canada, the Family of Men Support Society raises funds to help put male victims back on their feet.

The Men’s Advice Line in the UK offers services by email or telephone at 0808 8010327.

Again in the UK, the ManKindInitiative has a national helpline on 01823 334244.

The Dyn Project acts in Wales as a help for men domestic of abuse, and answer to 0808 801 0321.

In Australia, the Men’s Rights Agency is a non-for-profit organisation that works towards helping men.

MensLine Australia offers support to victims all around Australia and can be reached on 1300789978.

The One In Three campaign in NSW, which I have mentioned previously, has a great list of services and resources that I recommend checking it out.

If you know any other organisations or services, please let me know about them. If you have had any experiences that you would like to share, do consider this blog as another platform where you would be listened.

What is your opinion?

My opinion is pretty clear. I believe that, like women victims, men victims of domestic abuse should be cared for, listened to and taken seriously.

In addition, I feel like the society we are in today leaves little room for men to express their feelings. What problem does this lead to? They cannot reach for help.

Something is so far missing from this blog, and I have taken too long to address it: households were both partners are victims of each other’s abuse. If a man is victim from his partner’s physical, mental or emotional maltreatment and cannot seek help, there is a greater potential for him eventually fighting back. The result of this situation is a violent vicious circle where both members are perpetrators and victims. Allowing men to take out built up feelings can in that way prevent a violent relationship.

This latest addition, as well as other arguments explained in previous blog posts, rounds up all the reasons I believe men victims should be listened to.

Now, it is your turn: What do you think? Why do you believe men should be looked after when being abused by their partner? Do you agree or disagree with my reasons?

a view from down under: domestic violence in Melbourne

Great article posted a couple of days ago on the Herald Sun, a Melbourne publication in Australia. It is one of the first Australian articles I came across and it was very interesting.

If you don’t have to time to fully check it out, here are, in my opinion, two of the most important parts:

“One in seven men said they had been emotionally abused by a partner, as compared to one in four women.”

&

“Lone Fathers Association of Australia president Barry Williams told Leader that the overwhelming focus on men solely as perpetrators had led to a general suspicion and lack of sympathy for male victims.”

First of all: one in seven men. Not only is it a big number but it is no reflection of the actual number of men who reportedly are victims of domestic abuse. Many believe that men victims of domestic abuse should not be a priority in social issues due to the low amount of victims. What this article points out, which I agree with, is that the statistics of male victims is not a true reflection of the number of actual victims. Which leads to…

my second point: men are not encouraged enough to seek help when they are abused. And for multiple reasons: stereotypes that men are strong and should “take it like a man”, that women can’t hurt them that bad, that men shouldn’t complain and be emotional because it will make them “girly”, or that people would think that they indeed must be the perpetrator or have been violent first. All these stereotypes have to stop.

The article also points out the lack of sympathy for male victims. Men victims of abuse should not be put in the unjustified “men category -which contains a lot of perpetrators (enemies)”, but in the “men victims of abuse -which contains victims, seeking help”.

How do you feel about the debate? Isn’t it time to change?

all united against domestic violence

After writing a couple of posts about women as potential abusers in the domestic violence sphere, here is a great example of women uniting to help abused men. After a few movements done by men to help women victims of rape, sexual assaults or gender violence, such as Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, women are now returning the favour. In Blackpool, UK, women such as Francesca Brett, created the Fylde Coast Womens Aid, a charity that raises fund to help men victims of domestic abuse get back on their feet.

It is all about working all together hand-in-hand to stop domestic violence once and for all for all victims.